


A Hunger of the Flesh

by Geritashipper123



Series: Ali writes porn [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: A very special cameo, Anal Sex, Blanket Permission, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Porn With Plot, Post The Voyage Home, Remembering your t'hy'la, Rimming, Smut, Space Husbands, The Voyage Home, This is a birthday present, for one of my favorite people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 02:32:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9858077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geritashipper123/pseuds/Geritashipper123
Summary: Damn Spock, damn him to hell. No, bad Kirk. He's alive, that's what matters. He can only tell himself that for so long before he loses hope. Spock’s alive. That's all that matters. Jim groaned, ran a hand through his already messy hair. He needed a haircut and a shower, but the bounty was a damn Klingon ship so neither of those were coming anytime soon. What he needed was his damn husband back.Yeah, that wasn't happening anytime soon either.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThereBeWhalesHere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereBeWhalesHere/gifts).



> Lissy, HAPPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYY :D I hope you like this shameless porn. I tried to make it as fluffy as possible. 
> 
> I wrote this in school with a completely straight face. I did NOT have the face if someone writing porn. 
> 
> (Also there is a very special cameo)
> 
> Dedicated to LISSY ON HER BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU OLD TODGER (Ilysm)

_Haphephobia- a specific fear of touching or being touched_

 

_Touch deprivation- a lack of tactile stimulation_

 

_Skin Hunger- a need for a healthy touch. While it does not have to be sexual, many turn to sexual contact for fixing skin hunger._

 

* * *

 

Gillian drove away, and Jim is left to pick up the pieces once again.

 _Damn Spock, damn him to hell. No, bad Kirk. He's alive, that's what matters._ He can only tell himself that for so long before he loses hope. _Spock’s alive. That's all that matters._ Jim groaned, ran a hand through his already messy hair. He needed a haircut and a shower, but the bounty was a damn Klingon ship so neither of those were coming anytime soon. What he needed was his damn husband back.

Yeah, that wasn't happening anytime soon either.

Jim will admit he’s been… less than focused on the mission. He was on an adventure, Spock at his side. It was just like old times. If anything would flip the switch for Spock it should be this. But no matter what Jim did- jokes, sly comments, talking, Vulcan kissing- nothing worked. He was slowly losing his mind- the universe has gotten pretty damn creative with its torture methods. He can't touch, never can touch. He couldn't touch because he was scared, because they weren’t yet _Jimandspock_ they were captain and first officer. Then he could touch, for a time. And then he couldn't because of _gol_ and _kolinahr._ And then he could, because of v’ger, and then he couldn't because a damn _wall of glass_ had kept him from touching and now… now he was right there. He was right there, his ring was on Jim’s finger and half of his bond was in Jim’s head and Jim couldn’t touch. On Vulcan, custom dictated that only bondmates could initiate physical contact with one another in public. It was literally the law that Jim was allowed and even encouraged to touch and he could not. _Spock is alive. That is all that matters._

When he got inside, Scotty was waiting for him. He quickly gave his report on their whale stealing preparations, then he frowned for a moment and looked Jim in the eye. “Sir,” he began cautiously “the captain, Spock he… well, he came back to the ship without you. An’- perhaps ‘m oversteppin’ here sir- but he said you were on a date and-”

“You’re right.” Jim interrupted “you _are_ overstepping.” His voice was tight, and Scotty faltered, then steeled his resolve.

“Sir, with all due respect, what are you _doin’?_ Imagine how confused he must be!” Scotty implored “not to mention we’re on a mission and ya’ve known her for a day- did ya at least get the information from the lass?”

Jim sighed and shook his head, not looking at Scotty “no. I didn't. Sorry, Scotty, you’re right. It was… a last ditch effort.” He made himself look at his friend and saw kindness in his eyes, even a minute amount of pity. Jim was so _sick_ of pity. “Where is he anyway?” Jim asked softly.

“He went back to the bunks, hasn't come out since.” Scotty told him, and Jim sighed before nodding and walking away. He felt exhausted. He walked into his quarters on the _bounty_ , pulling off his jacket.

“Did you enjoy your date?”

Jim jumped about a foot in the air, whirling around to see Spock sitting silently on the bed, legs crossed as if he had been meditating. The dumb headband was gone, revealing his ears and brow. In the low light, Jim could almost pretend he could see the usual spark of recognition and love in those dark eyes. Jim swallowed and found himself shaking his head. “No I… I didn't even get the information I needed.” He shook his head “you scared me.”

“I apologize.” Spock responded, “it is most fortunate that you did not enjoy your date.” 

Jim’s head snapped around- Spock’s face revealed nothing. “Fortunate?” Jim asked slowly.

Spock took on the tiniest amount of sheepishness in his eyes “I… apologize.” He said and Jim shook his head “no no no- don't-” he sighed, looking away.

“Look I know someone told you about the… bond. But it was just information, I don't like her.” _Not like I like you._ Spock stared at him quietly for a few moment, eyes like flint as he stared right into Jim's soul.

“Admiral- Jim.” He corrected himself, and it made Jim’s heart squeeze “perhaps I have not been clear- no one _had_ to tell me about the bond. A broken t’hy’la bond… it was the first thing I registered upon waking. It told me of a man who gave up everything for me, of an angel who loved me despite that…” Spock looked away now, and Jim’s heart clenched. Spock had died and come back, and his damn insecurities had come back with him. “The bond told me your name, Jim. And it told me of your love for you.” Spock raised his head to look Jim in the eye “I… do not know _how_ to express everything I feel for you. Everything I felt upon waking. It is overwhelming.” He bowed his head again “and I am afraid of it all.”

Jim’s mouth felt dry, he could barely breathe. He… he couldn't. He couldn't do this. He turned on his heel and left the room before his resolve would break. He was told to let Spock make the first move, told that he couldn't touch him before he was ready. But _was_ he ready? Talking like that… Jim was trembling, his hands shaking badly. He missed Spock more than the world.

_He's alive. That's all that matters._

Yeah, right.

 

* * *

 

He doesn't get the time to spare Spock so much as a _glimpse_ for a while after that. Because there's the aluminum and Chekov ends up in the hospital and Bones and Scotty possibly breaking the timeline and _whales._ Lots of whales for fucks sake what has his life become? But they succeed. They win. The sky clears, and life starts up again around them in  _their_ San Francisco. He crew- his _family-_ is cheering as they hear the whales sing.

A hand sticks out to help him back up onto the bounty. Spock’s hand. Jim grabs it, wiping hair out of his eyes. He grabbed Spock’s shoulders to steady himself, laughter in his throat.

“God-” he broke out into a smile “It’s _beautiful-”_ And then he caught Spock’s eyes. Spock had been staring, gazing at him since he was pulled out of the water. And Spock was still clutching his hand. The brown eyes were blown wide. Spock’s cheeks were green- but if that was because of the cold or something else he didn’t know. 

“Jim.” Spock’s voice was so soft that he almost didn’t hear him. Spock said his name the same way he had said it for the first time after the _fal-tor-pan._ Jim felt his throat tighten, tears spark in his eyes.

“Spock.” he responded in a choked voice. His hand was squeezed and- he felt the moment Spock brought down his shields, letting his emotions flow across their joint hands. Jim’s knees almost gave out from the _intensity_ of them all. So much love, so much _affection, desire, love, joy, grief, guilt, confusion, caution, anxiety, everything everything everything-_

Jim grabbed Spock by the shoulders and toppled them both into the waves. Spock hated water, so he ended up getting tossed through the waves with him, clinging to Jim’s arms. Jim was clinging to him too, pulling him close. He was so warm in the cold of the ocean. He could feel his pulse, the hot skin. Jim couldn’t stop what happened next if he had tried, which he did not.

He screwed his eyes shut to protect them from the salt water (even though his eyes were already filled with his own salt water) and kissed Spock with a closed mouth.

And Spock _kissed him back._

 

* * *

 

The next several hours consisted of questions, interviews, and repeating the same story a hundred time. Lots of paperwork, lots of admirals, lots of doctors. Poor Spock probably had the worst of it, because while Vulcan had told starfleet that he was alive, they hadn’t believed it. Throughout the whole thing, Jim had absolutely refused to let the Vulcan away from his side, claiming that he didn’t know how to deal with human doctors and human doctors didn’t know how to deal with his fragile mental state. And when that didn’t work he did what he never ever did and pulled rank. It was almost the middle of the night when Jim finally convinced everyone that he and Spock should be allowed to sleep in their apartment and were escorted back.

But sleep was the last thing on his mind, he was vibrating with manic energy.

The door shut behind him, and he managed to stay still long enough to see Spock look around the apartment. Then Spock looked at him. “Jim.” he said softly “I…” Jim swallowed and came over, taking Spock’s hand by the wrist and lifting it up.

“I don’t know what your mind is doing right now. I don’t know how much you remember or what you’re feeling. But I don’t care. If you want to… I want you to meld with me.” Spock stared at him for a moment, then nodded once. He lined up his fingers, and muttered the words. _Bliss._ It was absolute bliss to have Spock in his mind again. He was gentle, warm, golden, shining, _beautiful-_ He could feel the tattered bond, aching like a gaping wound even months after Khan had ripped it. It was healing. Suddenly there was a strong link and the pressure popped like a bubble. Spock was home, and Jim was crying.

Spock pulled out gently, although Jim didn't want him to, and dropped his hand. His eyes were glassy. “Jim.” He whispered “I am _so_ sorry.”

Jim’s breath caught and he shook his head “don't be.” He replied, a shaky hand reaching up to skirt along his cheekbone, cup his chin, run across his ear. His thumb bumped Spock’s meld point, and a warmth pooled in his gut and- Jim cupped his hand around the back of Spock’s neck and pulled him down, pressing their mouths together. Spock’s hands came to rest on his hips, and he kissed Jim back.

Idly, Jim remembered a quote from _The Princess Bride_ (his go-to guilty pleasure story) about the five most romantic kisses ever shared between two people. Fuck Buttercup and fuck Wesley too. He won. _This_ won. And then Spock did that _thing_ with his teeth and Jim’s lip and the literature reference burned to a crisp as Jim turned his focus back to the present. Acting with their own portion of Jim’s brain, his hands clamped on Spock’s ass, and he pulled away from the kiss to laugh a little when Spock stiffened. “Come on.” He whispered, giving his a squeeze “you had to know that was coming.”

Spock raised a brow “I did not say it was an unappreciated action.” He said, and Jim laughed before standing on his toes to kiss him again. Spock kissed back, moving closer. Jim grinned against him, sliding his hands down so they were gripping Spock’s thighs. He pulled him even closer, and Spock clung to his shirt. They started stumbling towards the direction of the bedroom, only to end up crashing into the kitchen counter. Jim was laughing again, he pulled away and pressed his forehead to Spock’s.

“You need to stop stealing my oxygen. Which isn't easy, because _god_ do you take my breath away.” Spock swallowed, nodding against him. “The bed…?” It was more of a question than a suggestion, and Jim nodded, smiling at him.

They managed to make it to the bed without breaking anything, and Jim shoved Spock down, already unbuckling his pants and crawling onto him. He kissed him again, shorter this time. Then he kissed Spock’s cheek, his temple, his ear, his forehead, every inch of his face that he could reach he kissed. Spock’s eyes fluttered shut, continuing the work on Jim’s top. Starfleet had given them all fresh clothes after getting pulled out of the ocean, and there was a zipper on the back that was most certainly going to become a casualty of Vulcan strength soon. Jim slid his hands under the hem of Spock’s shirt, pressing his palm to the thrumming heartbeat in his side. His lips had left Spock’s face for his neck, pressed against his pulse. Jim paused there, squeezing his eyes shut and reveling in this- his heartbeat, his pulse, and the thrumming bond in his mind.

“Jim…” Spock rumbled, and Jim turned to kiss his jaw.

“Oh how much I love you.” Jim whispered in response. “Never do that again. I know you can't say you never will, but god-” his breath hitched and Spock reached up to tangle his fingers in his hair, pulling him back for another long kiss.

“ _Ka’i, ashaya.”_ Spock whispered after they separated. And Jim choked before darting down for another kiss. Those warm hands tore his shirt down the back, just like Jim had thought. Jim grappled with Spock’s shirt next, needing to get at his skin, needing to _touch_

Spock pulled the shirt over his own head, and Jim dove to kiss and lick and nip and suck at every inch of skin he saw. Spock made a noise that was not quite a groan, and the muscles fluttered under his skin. Jim projected as much affection as he could, making sure Spock was drowning in it. Each kiss was a piece of Jim’s heart that he was pressing through the skin, returning it to its rightful owner. One of Spock’s hands slid into the waistband of Jim’s pants and Jim groaned against Spock’s ribs.

“God _yes…”_ he muttered as Spock started pushing down the pants and underwear to get at his dick. “Spock- Spock- _shit!_ Spock…” he panted softly, squeezing his eyes shut and bucking against his hand. He could barely think because god he was hard. And _Spock,_ oh Spock. His hand was working Jim just the way he knew how. There was no relearning needed there, because _Spock was back sweet Jesus._ With great regret, Jim pulled his pants down to his knees and grabbed Spock’s wrist, pulling it away.

“Not like this.” He mumbled “I need to- I need-”

Spock nodded “Me as well.” Spock leaned up to kiss behind Jim’s ear “come inside me, Jim.” He mumbled, and Jim groaned, nodding once.

“ _God_ yeah. Take off your pants baby.” He crawled down, kicking off his pants the rest of the way and helping Spock out of his. Spock was hard too, leaking precome and natural lubricant. Jim grinned before leaning down to start lapping some of it up, and Spock arched off the bed as Jim took the head in his mouth. Jim sucked for only a moment, then nipped bruises into the inside of Spock’s thighs, making Spock yelp when Jim gave him a particularly hard bite. Jim continued with his ministrations, making Spock harder.

Finally, a hand tangled in his hair and Spock said “ _Jim.”_ Jim paused, looking up at him. Spock released him, rolling over so his ass was in the air and his chest was against the bed.

Jim smirked, “something you want love?” He asked, reaching under him to pinch a green nipple between his fingers. Spock groaned, nodding against the bedsheets.

“Jim _please_ do not tease me I need…” he sounded like he was close to sobbing, and Jim understood that _Spock_ had needed to touch too. Spock needed this just as much as he did. Eyes going soft, Jim string kisses down his back, nodding. His fingers trailed down Spock’s chest and stomach, getting themselves wet on his dick. He was about to press the first finger in when Spock stopped him.

“Not… not those…” Spock managed, raising his ass higher, and an image- more like a sensation- was projected across the bond, making Jim shutter and then grin. “Oh baby, you only have to ask.”

Then he spread Spock’s cheeks and stuffed his face between them. And this time, Spock _did_ moan.

Jim ate him out for a while, groaning at the taste. Spock was _decadent._ He pulled away after a few minutes, flexed his jaw. He sighed, blowing cool air onto the twitching green pucker. Spock whined and Jim grinned “you know what’s fun Mr. Spock? Because of Genesis, you're a virgin at this again. And oh man, you taste heavenly, my love.”

Spock whined again, and Jim laughed “impatient Vulcan. I love you so _much.”_ Then he leaned in and kept working at him, appreciating every little noise Spock made. _Beautiful._ He thought as loudly as he could, willing Spock to hear how much he loved him, how much he was cherishing this. Finally, Jim pulled away and slid his pointer finger in, making Spock whine at the loss but moan at the intrusion. He helped Spock roll back over, stretching him with two fingers now. He kissed all along Spock’s hips, squeezing his eyes shut again. “I love you.” He whispered, “I _love_ you.” He pulled Spock into his lap, making sure they were as close as possible. Then he lined himself up, wetting his dick first.

And then they were together. Spock was clutching at him, around him, pulling him in and keeping him there. Jim groaned, kissing him again. He started bucking, rocking Spock's whole body. Spock’s legs went around him, ankles hooking on one another to hold him there and giving Jim a better angle. He was making little groans and moans and little noises that Jim was reveling in.

“I love you I love you _I love you_ don't ever leave my side again- _ah!”_ Jim groaned when Spock clenched around him.

“Jim- _Jim-!_ ” Spock managed, eyes wild, hands clutching desperately at Jim’s hair, his shoulders- he was probably leaving bruises on Jim’s shoulder blades. Tomorrow he would be able to line those long fingers up with the dots on his back. Jim grabbed his chin and kissed him again, helping Spock rock back into Jim’s thrusts. _My first, my love, my mate, my heart, my other half, how I love thee! T’hy’la-_  their thoughts mangled together into a culmination of love and animal passion.

_Stay with me, never leave-_

_To be parted is a fate worse than death-_

_How I love you-_

_How I cherish you-_

And they came together like stars crashing. _This is how we are supposed to be. This is what matters._  

 

* * *

 

They spent all night, rejoicing again and again. They made love until they were so tired they could barely move. It was heaven, a heaven that Jim was indescribably happy to be apart of once again. And the next morning, he found Spock awake and awkwardly shuffling around the kitchen, preparing breakfast. Jim smiled at him, coming up behind him and winding his arms around those slim hips.

“Mm… what do you say, another round?” He asked, and Spock glanced back at him

“Jim even if we had nowhere to be, I do not believe _you_ could handle another round of copulation.”

Jim grinned up at him “But you could handle it?”

Spock looked faux offended “Of course. I am a Vulcan.” Jim laughed and pressed his face to Spock’s back, feeling tears boil behind his eyes again. Spock hesitated, then turned in Jim’s arms so he could cup his face.

“Why are you crying?” He asked softly, and Jim turned his head so his face was pressed against Spock’s palm.

“One night of love helps, beloved. But you might as well have taken me with you when you went. It hurt-” He closed his eyes. Spock kissed his forehead, and Jim smiled a bit at him. “It’s okay. It’ll get better. I’m just so grateful-”

“Shh…” Spock hushed him and kissed his cheek. “I cherish you, _t’hy’la.”_

Jim smiled “And I, you.” There was a knock at the door, and Jim went to answer it, whining when he had to let Spock go. One of the neighbors from down the hall stood there, holding a covered tray. She smiled when she saw him.

“Captain Kirk! Welcome back, sir.” She greeted. Jim smiled warmly.

“Good morning Lissa. Is that veggie casserole?” he asked, and she grinned before nodding.

“A sort of _thanks for saving the world and congratulations on being alive_ present for you and Spock.” She held it out, and Spock came to take it from her “thank you Lieutenant Commander.” he said, and she smiled warmly.

“We’ve made so many casseroles for you in the past few weeks, I’m shocked you're not sick of them Jim.” She teased, and Jim smiled at her “they’re delicious, all my compliments to your wife. And happy birthday.”

Lissa laughed, smiling brightly “Thank you sir. And if you ever get another ship, make sure we’re on it!” She saluted, and held up the ta’al for Spock before going back down the hall. 

Jim smiled back at Spock “She’s a sweet girl. And good at her job.” He sighed “Another ship is a pipe dream though. What the hell are we going to do?” He ran a hand through his hair, and Spock looked over.

“We will settle.” He said “between the two of us we have saved up enough credits to live very comfortably. In addition, with my father aging, I have debated taking his place as Vulcan ambassador.”

Jim’s eyes widened “Did he ask?” Spock nodded, and Jim smiled “that’s wonderful. You’d be great.”

“Thank you.” Spock said softly, and Jim sighed, pulling him into a hug. “We’ll be okay?” He asks quietly. Spock hugged him tight, kissing his head “We will be.”

 

* * *

 

And they were.

 

**Author's Note:**

> DID YOU LIKE IT LISSY i spat this out in a day. WOOOOOOOOOOOO 
> 
> Please everyone go see lissy on tumblr www.onedamnminuteadmiral.tumblr.com 
> 
> And I am on tumblr too! www.flamingbluepanda,tumblr.com
> 
> See ya!


End file.
